My Dirty Laundry

Literally, every day of my life is filled with some kind of unbelievable thing. It's usually coming from my kids. However, there was a time where I did experience an embarrassing thing every day in college. This is the most requested story so I will proudly share it here.

One morning, back in the olden days, like 1995, I, like all girls my age, needed to get to class. I had just bought myself a cute new outfit that consisted of a calvin klein CK shirt and a mini skirt.. paired with a jean jacket. Yes, I was happenin. Anyways, I had a couple of cute guys in this college class and I wanted to look extra cute. As I hopped out of the shower, I realized that I had no clean underwear. I hadn't done my laundry for like 2 weeks. I'm a girl. I can go that long. I did however, have one pair of underwear that kind of had a shot elastic band on them. I really wanted to look cute and knew that really, this was my only option. So I did it. I put them on, fully aware that I might have to give myself a wedgie throughout the day. I hopped on the bus to get to school.. because that is what I had to do... A series of three events happened that sad day. First, as I got onto the bus, I hated riding the bus, I was unable to find a seat. I had to stand and hold onto the pole. Did I mention that I hated riding the bus? Anyway, it was always interesting to see who rode the bus. You've got your lonelies, your homelies, your homies, and your poor college students. There was a really pretty lady that rode the bus that day though. She was dressed to kill. Had a ton of make up on. She was sitting kind of to the right of me so it was easy to see her. I tried not to stare at her but she was in plain view. Our ride was a little bumpy that day. One wrong turn on our driver's part helped to plant my hand right in
the middle of the pretty lady's lap. Oh the look on both of our faces was priceless. For me, to realize this woman was actually a well endowed man. For her, his secret. I was grateful to be at my stop. I think he was too. I couldn't wait to tell someone at school. I stepped of the bus and hurried inside.

I had to walk up 6 flights of stairs. Yes 6. It was well worth it because of the hotness that awaited me in my classroom. I started up the stairs and realized instantly, that wearing a skirt was not the greatest of ideas for me. Not only was I self conscious about my skirt, but my underwear was really loose. I began to sweat a little knowing that the volleball team was just released out of one of their classes and was walking directly behind me as I climbed Mt. Everest. Oh how I hoped I wouldn't trip. I was literally getting to the top when I felt my underwear slip to my hips. Oh. my. gosh. What am I going to do? My perma-wedgie was failing me. The profanities were rushing all to quickly to my lips as I contemplated what I should do. I reached to the top of the stairs, looked down at my legs, and yes, it was true. My underwear was noticable. Do I wobble to a bathroom? Do I sit down instantaneously? Do I pretend it is a shirt? WHAT. Do. I. Do? I was mortified beyond what words can say. I indeed, stopped, let them fall to the ground, and stepped out of the ugliest pair of underwear anyone has ever seen. I was mortified. This was me. I am the girl that these things happen to. I knew others saw what was going on. How could they not? I had to go commando for the rest of the day. No one does that! As I got into the bathroom, I actually did laugh to myself and then composed myself and walked back out. I waited a good 10 minutes before leaving the bathroom. I had to be sure no one saw the instant death of my undergarments. I also had to be positive that it didn't look like I was constipated in there either. I was now late. I had to go into my art class late. I felt frazzled. Not cute. Definitely breezy. I walked into class and found my seat, just to find my self laying flat on my back. My chair had rollers on them. I guess I sat down to hurried? Not only did the chair slip beneath me but there I lay, with no undies, in a skirt, with bits of pottery landing on top of me, due to my chair hitting the display rack. My boyfriends in this class were so impressed, I'm sure. The class stopped. Asked if I was okay. I nodded. Picked up my things, left my pride on the floor, and left the room. I was done. It was not my day. What time does the bus come?